For much of my younger life, I made decisions based not on what I really wanted, but on what outcomes I feared least. I was afraid to be alone, so I married a man who was not a good match for me.

She despised her body weight, and she disliked overweight in anyone else. The size of her body and everyone else’s was a continual topic of conversation. The message was mixed: Food is love, eat it up in large portions, but stay thin to be lovable.